On Belonging...

Upon recent reflection I've realised that one of the things that is most important in my life is belonging to something.

The times I've been happiest, felt most alive, most confident and when life just seems to whirl by with joy and energy are all associated with belonging to something. Whether that's AFS as an exchange student, a cohort of engineering students (and the engineering revue), the SCA, more specifically a college or a household, or to a group of people referred to as "RKoL DJs".

To be able to say "I'm part of [organisation]" either privately, or publicly gives me security and confidence.

When I don't belong to something I go looking for something to belong to, trying to fill that gap (building lego houses anyone?). When I can't find something that fits I end up in a strange fuzzy-headed space filled with long days on the couch doing not much.

As I've re-integrated back into life in Australia the SCA has been a strong reminder of this dichotomy for me. Attending my first full festival since 2007 I was reminded of why I used to be so integrated into the Society and volunteered my time and effort to it. I was reminded of what it meant to give service to others simply because you wanted to, and what it felt like to have a place and to belong.

So, as of last night I am Rowany's A&S officer, and I've spent today thinking about Bunch o' Classes (September 8-9, stick it in your diaries!), how to revive dance in the Barony (a 12 week beginner's class will be coming your way soon), and composing a survey to see what is currently happening across the Barony and what people would like to see happening.

I also spent today humming part of the Cutt Bransles, which led me onto the Newcastle, and hence I present you with this clip of a man and an accordion and a familiar refrain (I love the gusto)

Some Afternoon Observations

One of the myths in my family is that I don't notice stuff. Or if I do I don't appreciate or enjoy it.

Which is not accurate.

I remembered this as I was gazing out of my train this afternoon, listening to music and reflecting on my work day.

So here are some things that caught my eye on my train trip home this afternoon, all of which made me smile, pause and appreciate being here in this time and place.

1. All the wild fennel in flower along train lines, roadside and other abandoned land.

2. Middle aged men carrying large bouquets if flowers on the train.

3. Clouds that bump along in the sky, looking like they've floated over from the opening credits of The Simpsons.

Exhausted. I blame DrNik

Messing about in boats, photo by Laela

This weekend we went for a short paddle in a lake... No wait, wrong story...

This weekend we went for a long canoe trip (approx. 25kms) in a river leading into a dam, with 10 other people to celebrate DrNik's birthday.

There was canoe-based shenanigans, lots of trees, some wildlife (including the first goannas I'd seen in 15 years), champagne and lobster.

It was good fun. Nice to get outdoors, to get out of my comfortable non-camping rut, and watch the world go by at the pace of a paddled canoe. I'd like to report:

• no sun-burn, except possibly on my lower lip, 
• that lobster cooked over a campfire is tasty, as are sausages made by Laela, and
• that apparently I have canoeing shoulders, as there's very little muscle ache.

All of which leads to a continued thought that we should really own a sea-kayak, since we live so close to that flat piece of water known as the Parramatta river.

Something to be mad about

I've decided to refer to 2011 as the year of the fuzzy bubble - as in, I was in one. Mostly in recovery mode from the emotional exhaustion that hit (I finally acknowledged??) in January 2011.

One of the manifestations of emotional exhaustion is complete numbness, an inability/fear of emotion and an inability to care about stuff. It's horrible. Especially as I could remember some intense and welcome emotions that helped to define who I was and remind me that I was alive, engaged, connected, belonged and had a purpose. oh, and the worst writer's block I've ever had - the words were there, they just wou;dn't connect with my fingers.

Over the last month those emotions have returned. Yay! I'm a lot happy, lighter, more playful and able to consider the "what next?" questions in my life.

Also, it seems I am able to get mad about things that appall me, like the implications in this article by David Horton.

Whilst in the UK I had forgotten about the insidiousness of the IPA (Institute for Public Affairs), or perhaps I wanted to hope that we weren't an entire nation of gullible/wool-pulled-over-our-eyes idiots. It seems I was naive, and instead they have received massive funding from the mining industry, and have, through dint of being well-written, prolific and accessible to over-worked journalists, made their way into more mainstream media...

David's post then led me to the desmogblog, with their book (now high on my list of books to read), and their manifesto Slamming the Climate Sceptic Skam. It's a great analysis of what some elements of the PR industry are doing REALLY WELL to ensure that oil and energy companies don't have to change anything or have their enormous profits threatened.

Can you say the word propaganda?? It's not just something that was used in the second world war.

Time to get grumpy again.

What am I going to do about it? Well, my current job is one avenue for action. As is the website I built (with Geoff's help) over Christmas. It's in it's baby steps stage at the moment, but if you feel like listening into less ranty, more constructive posts then head over to Sustainably Literate.